Inner (annoying) Thoughts,

Rant-y, annoying post (complaint) up ahead (again). Bare with me, I'm only human and I need to vent. Sad thing is I don't have anyone I can physically vent to here and the internet's capped so Skype is not an option :/


I hate this feeling.

My dad's heading back to Malaysia tomorrow. I mean, I'll see him in October which is not very far away. But, honestly, when he's not around, I feel like such an alien to my step mum and half-brothers. My dad always tries to include me in things so I guess I just feel belonged, in a way - since I've been feeling like I'm just an annoyance.

He's not even gone yet and I already miss him. I can't bring myself to do anything (I don't know if it's because I'm tired though). I have a book to read and a speech to write for English, a chapter of Geography to do and Biology revision - none of which I have even touched. All pretty much needed on Monday, so basically I'm screwed if I don't do anything -.-

A weird thing you ought to know about me is that people can't force me to do things, because I can't even force myself to do things. Kinda sucks, it's like I don't have control of myself.

What kills me is how I'm not as close to him as I used to be. I don't know what happened, maybe I 'grew up'? Because I was really close to him when I was younger. And I just wish I was close to him now. I've been trying to talk to him more and do more things with him, but I still feel quite distant.

But maybe that's what you get when you put two quiet people together? Another annoying thing is how emotional I've been - crying over every little thing. It's so stupid.

Uh, congratulations for reading this far? Haha, you probably think I'm an annoying person who just complains a lot now - and that's really ok! Because that's what my mind's like. Sigh, my life.